Mike & Paul Revealed: Don’t Mess with Texas

You may be wondering why there has been such a gap in posts from ol’ Troch lately. Well, I had been silenced after my Philadelphia recap. The Phoenix Foundation (Mike and Paul’s true employer), thought I was giving away too much information and sent two agents after me. “Fox and Dana” held me in D.C. for a week asking me questions about my connection to the boys and to the one known as “Number 5.” After a few days of sarcastic quips followed by a few more days of incessant crying, I was released.

Since then, I’ve learned a few more updates on the Mike and Paul joint known as “The Great American Rideabout.” In order to make a few bucks, the boys made their way to the Sunshine state and joined the Miami-Dade police department drug enforcement and fast car driving division. After driving cars on the highway backward, blowing up airport terminals and realizing they don’t know the lyrics to the theme song of “Cops,” both Paul and Mike agreed this activity had nothing to do with artificial intelligence and returned to the road.

After driving past several undesirable states, they found their way to the Lone Star State. Due to the constant questioning of being twins, Mike and Paul are now going by “Julius and Vincent” when they meet strangers. Of course, they continually argue over who is who. While searching for Number 5 in Texas they hope to do the following:

• Avoid chainsaw-related massacres;
• Find Milton’s red stapler;
• Go to the site where “Hope Floats” was filmed and spit on the ground;
• Confirm that the Alamo does not have a basement; and of course,
• Go to a high school football game and say to a random Dad “I Don’t Want Your Life!”

Good luck boys…we’re all counting on you.